[Weirdelves]

Why did you leave uni again Jordy?

[queenofnerds]

Fed up Work is getting me down and I know it's partly my fault for not putting my foot down and being sure I can do the stuff I'm asked to in a set amount of time. Sucks.
Got to get better at that. Otherwise it's gonna be me in here all hours every project that comes in. Clients will always play on the fact that you want to make a beautiful project.

[Jordan~]

[Weirdelves]

Wowser. It's good that you're going back for sure next year then. Means you can't get too het up about being with the 'rents as it's finite.

[Ann]

I live my mom, little sister and brother right now. In just a few weeks my brother's girlfriend is coming home from army training and moving in with us, and my once-estranged aunt is moving home from Hawaii, in with us, and 12 cats. (Yes, she's undeniably a cat lady. Over 50, divorced, no children and, well, 12 cats...).

But, tentatively, Timothy and I will be moving to El Paso around February 9th. I don't really trust this army stuff, so we don't know for sure. But if nothing changes that's what's happening. The southwest is probably the place I least wanted to go. I'd love to stay in Washington, would've enjoyed the northeast, would've been excited for the south, wouldn't have minded the midwest ... I can't believe I'm going to be living in Texas. Texas! I am very much not a Texan.

It will be nice to get out of my mother's house though. She can be very irritating. But at the same time, who will I rant to? Timothy often just thinks I'm yelling at him, or trying to teach him. My mom gets that sometimes it's nice to just sit around and talk about how stupid people are. And how will I keep up with my sister? She is my favorite person, but she's very private. I only am allowed to participate in her life because I'm here. I'm afraid to lose that.

Also, job prospects seem terrible down there. I love my tutoring family here tremendously. They are so perfect and Skaeya brightens my day every time I see her. I don't want to have to settle for an office job, but what else is someone with a degree in Humanities to do? Until I get my teaching certificate, it's only luck that's going to put me in an education job and El Paso appears to have nothing. Also, our BAH pay will be decreasing (much higher cost of living in Seattle's zip code...) and our rent will be more than the measly $300 my mom's been charging me.

I'm excited to get to be on my own again, to get to sleep with my husband every night, but really sad about everything else.

[polliwog]

I'm sorry Ann. El Paso seems to be one of the least hospitable parts of Texas. Does your family use Skype or some other form of visual online communication? If not, you might want to set it up before your leave. Being able to see and hear your family on a regular basis, even if it's not up-close and personal, might make a big difference in how you handle the separation.

[dwaink]

Texas can be a beast to live in, get ready for some real heat. And all those allergies that folks around u are suffering from(cedar elm is a monster) that seem not to effect u? give it time.... from grapefruit sized hail...try that in a moving vehicle, to dust storms and 4 inch cracks in the ground from drought...it's a fun place
but on the other hand the folks that live there can be wonderful friends and cosmopolitan is always a short(read that 500 miles) drive away, great music killer food(get u some real mexican not that texmex stuff) Herrera's Tex Mex(they gone and changed the dang name...) is all over the map and u may find one close to u...started out as a one room shack selling tacos to students and the Jimmy's special is to die for:

http://herrerasrestaurant.com/menu.html

http://www.herrerastexmex.com/menu.html

WhataBurger...omg a double meat double cheese with peppers sounds so good right now, do this as soon as possible, even if u have to drive for it

http://www.whataburger.com/

the big cities have lotsa night life scene and music is every where, try a weekend in Austin or Dallas to whet yer appetite and move on from there

learn to speak a little spanish and the world down there will open up to u

what the heck yer young, think of it as an adventure...and have some fun sokay?

dwain- yikes just checked a map, u will be closer to polli than Dallas(only 1000 miles

[queenofnerds]

Need a hug Anyone? Hug?

[Gerritsón]

Yes, here you are. What's up Queenie?

[queenofnerds]

Awwww!! I an just having a rough day needed a hug thank you that did the trick

[polliwog]

That picture is just about as cute as it can be.

[queenofnerds]

That tiger does look proper happy doesn't he dawwww

[Jordan~]

Had a consultation with a therapist yesterday. I did a stress audit. He said 10 is normal, 20 is high; I scored 42.5. He gave it to me to take home; my parents both scored really high, too. Talk about a pressure cooker environment...
42.5 on a scale of 1 to 42.5 is about how stressed out I feel, too. I'm angry most of the time, incoherent with rage for about half of that time, and riddled with anxiety and doubt for the remainder. It's not like I have a particular reason to be stressed, either. Very minor pressures just terrify me, and tiny irritants infuriate me. I've got four days (having squandered four already since the deadline was set) to do an assignment sent up from university, and I just feel sick when I think about it. My heart's pounding for no reason half the time, I can't stop clenching my jaw and stomach and chattering my teeth, and the thought of having to do anything just fills me with dread or despair. I'm such a nervous wreck at the moment. I just can't face anything.
I'm going to see him again next week. He said he wanted to try hypnotherapy. I hope it works... I don't want to go back on medication again, partly because it took so long last time to find a mix of drugs that didn't just make things worse, and partly because I'm worried about what a diagnosis for generalised anxiety disorder or dysthymia or both would do to my chances of going back to Cambridge. But there's not much point in going back unless I can get sorted out first, but time's running out and I can't take another year out.

[Gerritsón]

...
That sounds nerve wrecking indeed. No idea to go for a long walk once in a while..?

[dwaink]

Jordan try meditation, i can give u a "thin" primer here but it won't be the same thing as actually going to a teacher. But once u grock meditation it is with u always, anywhere anytime. as a buddhist i will of course reccomend buddhist meditation(because i know how much deeper it is) but there are many other forms out there...please save yerself some misery and throw a 1/10th of the energy used to keep yerself so amped up into it? i spent way too many years being way too angry before i figured it out, do yourself a favor huh? make yer whole family go ...shared misery

dwain

[Jordan~]

[Gerritsón]

I think I feel the answer coming... but how's your sleeping?

[Jordan~]

Surprisingly, that's fine. Tend to wake up after eight hours, but I often sleep longer than that - I slept a bit under twelve hours, last night. I never wake up during the night. Once I'm asleep, that's it. Blessedly, that, at least, seems unaffected. Still, when I wake up I often feel weary and lethargic.
Interestingly, my dad (who also seems to be very stressed) has no problems sleeping, either.

[dwaink]

u may also need tested for sleep apnea.....

dwain

[milkisobel]

how the fuck did you do here steve??