¤ milky moon ¤ • View topic - my life sucks and then is awesome (or vice versa)

by **Jordan~** on 21 Jun 2011, 07:46

Oh... concerta can mess with your blood pressure. Mine was the medical definition of perfect. I like the fact that I can just do anything and my internal organs remain in perfect health.

by **milkisobel** on 21 Jun 2011, 15:04

by **Ann** on 21 Jun 2011, 15:57

I just assumed Concerta and Adderall would have similar physiological effects, but I don't know that much about it.

Also: I think your good health is called being 18.

by **Jordan~** on 21 Jun 2011, 16:18

Yes. I like being 18. I don't want to be older than 18.

by **milkisobel** on 10 Oct 2011, 18:17

all isn't a mess in my life, i was exposed last friday and i sell 2/4 pics

seen on
http://celdemer.wordpress.com/
it's the berlin serie
looks really better when printed in big format in full res of course

by **Gerritsón** on 10 Oct 2011, 19:39

Those pictures look great Milki :surprised:

by **ursulabear** on 10 Oct 2011, 20:10

I am taking half of the GED tomorrow. I am excited to be done with it all, but I am worried that I won't do well!

by **queenofnerds** on 21 Nov 2011, 14:13

I went out with 2 beautiful girls today. It made me think a little, I definitely isolate myself, I think I feel both superior and inferior. But I am probably neither. I like to think I am smarter because they are pretty and talk about twilight :lol:

but then I look at them and think "aww they are so pretty, wish I was too."
Both ways of looking at it are completely wrong!

So I am now thinking of it in this way: I went to lunch with two very attractive girls, lucky for me :naughty:

by **milkisobel** on 21 Nov 2011, 19:35

hooooww i really understand what you felt

by **queenofnerds** on 22 Nov 2011, 15:18

But you are lovely silly girl :luv:

by **Jordan~** on 22 Nov 2011, 15:21

Both superior and inferior... That rings as bell. ><
Good way of putting it. I'll use that on my psychologist, if I ever actually get one.

by **milkisobel** on 22 Nov 2011, 17:28

it's something common of the hypersensitive and educated people i guess, i don't have many friends but they all think the same, apart those bitch who are both smart and sexy

by **queenofnerds** on 22 Nov 2011, 17:30

grrrr smart and sexy should be a law against it!

by **milkisobel** on 22 Nov 2011, 17:32

yeah, my best friend is those kind of blonde smart new yorker's girl with a classical literature degree, marketing master and cinematography degree, but she struggles to have her american visa reconducted, she desperately wants to stay in us, after 5years i understand what it feels to be kicked out your heart country :cry:

by **Jordan~** on 22 Nov 2011, 17:49

I'm smart and well... not unattractive, I think (said he modestly :sure:

), but I don't have a life and I'm socially awkward and I could pretty much turn to any page of the DSM-IV, close my eyes, point to a symptom and have it, and I always kind of think, "I don't fit in with these people. Do I even want to fit in with these people? I want to fit in with some people." It's weird. I have really high and really low self-esteem at the same time and alternatingly.

by **queenofnerds** on 22 Nov 2011, 17:54

It's weird, with these girls I keep expecting there to be a Carrie moment. Like they are gonna drop pigs blood on me or something...... I have never been on talking terms with popular girls so odd.

by **queenofnerds** on 22 Nov 2011, 17:56

by **Jordan~** on 22 Nov 2011, 17:58

Hehe, I'm thinking of that scene in 30 Rock when Liz is at lunch with Jenna and Phoebe, and Jenna says to Liz, "How Sex and the City are we right now? I'm Samantha, you're Charlotte, and you're the lady at home who watches it."

Yeah, same. I suck at talking to most people. But then I think about what most people talk about, and like... I have zero interest in talking about that stuff. :err:

by **queenofnerds** on 22 Nov 2011, 18:12

That is the problem I have and sometimes I wonder what would be a good subject... I guess star formation! I had a great conversation about that the other day. The thing is I don't mind other women lusting after Robert Pattinson I just don't get it and I find it hard to feign an interest :lol:

I am such a snob :rolleyes:

No wonder I have trouble getting friends.

by **Jordan~** on 22 Nov 2011, 18:20

I don't think it's snobbery, even. There's a difference between being a snob and not being frivolous. Like, if I'm out with my friends, we can talk politics and stuff, but there's a kind of "No, we're on a night out, we should be talking about pointless crap that history will rightly forget!" attitude. If I'm meeting someone for the first time and they say, "Have you been watching the X Factor?" I groan internally. No. Don't ever ask me that question again, it's insulting. But if someone had something interesting to say about the X Factor as a social phenomenon or they could explain why it's interesting or if they had a perspective on it, any perspective, I'd be happy to talk to them. Most people just seem to lack any kind of perspective or even opinion about everything they talk about. It makes a discussion equivalent to mooing.

Probably about three quarters of the good conversations I have are about mental health experiences.

Sometimes you find some equally disinterested in talking about what amounts to nothing at all, which is great. But people like that are few and far between. I find it hard to feign an interest, and it makes me wonder why the hell I should bother trying to feign an interest. If I'm really struggling to get any kind of enjoyment out of a conversation, I'd rather be at home where there are interesting things than labouring through a frankly depressing waste of sound.

At the same time, I envy some people's ability to connect with people without necessarily having anything to talk about. Some people always seem to be having fulfilling, interesting conversations with everyone they meet. But then, maybe that's just a cognitive distortion on my part - maybe I'm imagining it, exaggerating their social grace and my own lack thereof. I get to feeling isolated, which I don't like, but the alternative to isolation doesn't really seem any better. It often seems worse.

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